My peaceful path

2010-05-01T00:25:00.002+08:00

the flu had hit a few times, the throat infection hit a few times in a month, and it's back again. i really dont understand why it is like that... i took medicine, i took antibiotics, i took vit c, i took care not to let it relapse, but it still comes back nonetheless.. WHY???

anyway, it's been a few hectic weeks in school, alot of markings, alot of things to chiong, and alot of syllabus to catch up for. i cant afford to be sick, really!!! children have been really sweet these days.. i have terence who constantly checks if i am ok, ibuys drinks for me, i have ruisheng who's turned over a new leaf, buys me chrysanthemum teas, i really appreciate their thoughts. i have a bunch of lovely p6s pupils who chits chats and destress for me... and i have a good friend/pupil xiwen who's constantly being nice to me.. thanks kids, thanks people, for being such sweet people who makes me feel really motivated nand blessed. above all, i have great friends/colleagues/comrades who fight this everyday battle with me. thanks girls, you know who u all are...

and so the dismissal bell rings everyday and the national anthem plays everyday... day after day, i just wish and hope i can EVER touch and change some lives...

personal life's been pretty much the same, boring and nothing much to update on. it's exams week soon, it's marking and chionging week! JIAYOU GIRLS! JIAYOU my pupils! (:

2010-03-27T14:19:00.002+08:00

aloha, for a long time since the last post. i've decided not to let my blog be reallllly literally peaceful :) some rants. it's been really busy and i realised i haven updated anything since the start of the year! my bad, my apologies my dearests all.

alright, to cut things short. i got assigned to teach p3, p4 and p5s. form teacher of a p4 class, p4-5 which initally gave me the idea that they can't really care much about what i say or don't. gradually, they became a class of angelic souls who really care and from their faces, you know they do care. they are talkative, rowdy, can be too loud at times but deep intheir hearts, i know i've made a little difference. and i'm glad about it (: i'll strive hard, what comes to me as a challenge will be undertaken and overcomed!! 4-5 will become different! and i want to make that difference!

after a term with them, i can't help but still say i would miss my 2-3 pupils who are now scattered among the p3s. they are warm, and they never fail to approach me whenever they see me. what makes my heart melt is when owen would still let me handhold him with all his work and he's that significant difference i've seen since last year. what makes me more than happy is when benedict greets me warmly and when yixuan still tells me how he's doing and when randy smiles with his blur look and the girls rushing to me like a flock of beautiful grown butterflies. they are lovable.

what makes this year worth looking forward each day are my p6 classes. i can't ue a single word or a single sentence to define what makes them the reason i'm looking fwd to each day. they are neither adults nor are they young children like my p3s or 4s, but they touch your heart and soul in a different way. they care from within, and each time they cheer when i enter the class, it just feels like whatever hardwork it may be, it's worth it. they come to you when you're down, and they make you smile when you feel like it's a dread. 6-6, 6-7 are totally lovable kids, who can be naughty, rebellious, at times, but really, they are the ones who make teaching worthwhile. according to them, i'm a different teacher, i do wonder how am i different. (:

wushu cca, tiring hectic, but well, i love the kids there, from the bottom of my heart. the older kids warm my days. lately, we've been all putting in our effort for the competition, they've put in their heart and sweat.. there are so many of them, i see their attitude and i want them to just put in their best and dont get too stress, but looking at it, really, how not to be stress when there's so many audiences and when it's a national competition. they may not see this post, but i salute their efforts and above all, their determination and strength. especially to a few of you (they know who they are), i've seen so much in you and watcheed u all trained hard, whatever the results may be, it really doesnt matter. although they may not know this, but whatever results it may be, they get their treat from me (:

life apart from school has been really dull after faezah left for melbourne.. i lost some true craziness, i need some recharge. her calls and emails and msn chats makes me recover well and then i'd use up those energy too fast! hahaha... brain, if u're reading, OMG, U'RE SOOOOO MISSED!!! meetings with the usuals have been heavily reduced but we're still having enough dosage of each other (: MISSSSS TO ALL I HAVEN SEEN OR MEET DUE TO MY TIGHT SCHEDULE!!

heart-to-heart or back-to-back, you made a difference to my life (: love you..

2009-12-06T22:26:00.001+08:00

i didn't know it hurts this much. i didnt know it has to be so damn tough.
what's so wrong about loving someone?
what's so wrong about loving someone all too much?
what's so damn wrong about me???
i'm really tired.. maybe, i should just let everything go...

2009-11-25T15:43:00.000+08:00

a little confession: i'm tired of waiting....

family? what's that?

2009-11-24T13:01:00.002+08:00

can anyone define he word family for me?
there's nothing such as family. family are not the ones who would be there for you, for goodness sake. family comes to you when they need to, family comes to you only in times of need.. thats when the saying goes, 'family is there for you in times of need.' if they don't need you, do you think they'd bother finding you??? c'mon, hell no!

friends ironically are the ones who can be there, anytime.

what's the sad thing? the sad thing is, u try too hard to get your family like you, u try all too hard just to get them to look and talk to u..... joyce, try too hard and u're the one who get hurt. stop being a clown and stop being a fool! they're not going to care about you.

if i have a choice, i really would prefer to be someone heartless.
cold.heartless.stone.

2009-10-27T00:25:00.003+08:00

dear diary...
that's when you know where u stand, u know where it leads to, and wish to drop everything and walk away.. leave the pain, drop the sorrows... :(
ive deicded to reallllly just move on.... alot of times, we're moving, but we're not moving on... y??????????????
sometimes love just aint enough.. it's true...

2009-10-23T10:37:00.000+08:00

dear dairy,

seriously, who cares about what you think and feel at this very moment? and seriously, why should humans be created such a way that we must feel so much for something not significant at all? and why am i so programmed to feel so much for even the most negligible details of life? back off, and just get off my nerves!

2009-10-19T22:10:00.002+08:00

hello all,
it's been a long long time since i last blogged...
not much have happened, nothing in particular to update about also...
falling sick often, getting bored often.. working most of the times, enjoying the children most of the times, scolding alot of times, shouting and screaming alot alot of the times, marking all the time, very much mundance, very little exciting...

it was only good to mention that i took my 2 periods off on last fri to speak to ezah (: which made a big big change to my day, to my boring and un-crazy days..... she made me balanced one more time, balanced only because, i REALISED i haven lose any bit of craziness, it was just.... er... sorta hidden? hahahahaha! alot of things shared, alot of updates, alot of catching up, good we caught up because, really, nothing else makes me so de-congested. (:(: u go girl!!! im counting down...~
i really cant wait for yingtao and ezah to be back.. there will be so so so many things we could do together... so so so many things we would enjoy doing altogether.. so many plans in mind, so many fun we wanna catch up on.... i cant wait! (:(:
and zixian ahs been really busy, there's so much we haven been catching up on. u go girl!!! sooooooooon!! (: jiayou jiayou.

with much impromptu-ness, we booked air tix to kl. we havent exactly thought of where we should stay, but we all agreed that as long as there's proper sewage system and as long as there's a bed to rest on, then it's gonna be fine. hahaha.. anyway, it's not some budget trip, it's some relaxing-chillax-talk-walk-shop-eat kinda trip. and i cant wait! 17jan to 19jan!

look at some nearer plans first... yt is coming back first.. ezah is coming back slightly later... some picnic-ing, some camping, some bbq-ing, some sentosa-ing, ecp-ing, some trekking, hiking, shopping, talk-cocking, supper-ing, jalan kayu-ing, chomp chomp-ing, movie-ing, dinner-ing, lunch-ing, chilling and chalet-ing. marina barrage-ing, zoo-ing, night safari-ing can take place. im not ambitious. im confident we will have packs of fun! muahahahaha!

-because absence makes the heart grows fonder.... (:

2009-09-11T17:38:00.000+08:00

i hate nasty people who tries to get you down, who wants to mess up your life with her kind of small actions. i'm disgusted.
back off!
he's never ever gonna be interested with you, ever again.
just back off from our lives!!!! and for goodness sake, go get a life!

2009-09-06T12:25:00.000+08:00

it's been a longggg time i last bloggged. it's the school holidays, it's time to heave a sigh of relief after a hectic 10weeks. looking forward to the dec holidays already... then, there'd be two precious precious people back from Aussie, and then, there will be more time for myself, more things to do...

not many happenings, not much to blog about my plain busy life.

just wanted to shout out to ezah and tao: I REALLY MISS YOU TWO!

2009-08-09T00:28:00.004+08:00

and i'm happier with straight hair. hahaha.... i'm soooo gonna rebond my hair sooooon! (:

i'm looking forward to the batam trip tomorrow, with lao da, jin nan, ah ho, anthony, ping, mummy and mei.... maybe, just maybe seline and kennedy...
i had a great time today... i met johny at raffles city, while waiing for him, i coincidentally met seline in b1 toilet. we went to marina square... seline stayed to wait for ken, johny and i went bugis, we walked there... iluma was a disapointment we concluded... we walked to orchard central, arty-farty, yet another disappointment.... we really did alot of window shopping and nothing else... haha. hmmm... we ended up with rather tired legs, had dinner. dinner for me was an oversized hor fun, and a cuppa oversweetened iced lemon tea (thanks johny).. he had his fill of coke and mee goreng.. afterwhich we went ps to get sunblock for my trip tomorrow, went to the cathay to meet lao da. watched UP, yums! it was 3D, the story was FANTASTIC. 5STARS!
we ended our day with a sweet note of ribena, then home sweet home...

so much so for daily events like this, there's so much happening recently i can't keep up with my blog... there's too many things to note down, too many things filled up in my mind... i can't summarise them. they're all jumbled information and sorta stored at the back of my brain already... shan't dig them out... i need a breather. alot of things to cope, alot to handle, alot to worry for, alot to catch up on. and someone please just tell me, how so is 24hrs ever enough in a day? perhaps i needa 72hrs or something? then again, 72hrs would be a torment if each day were to be 72hrs and 365days in a year.... *shivers* i'm uttering rubbish only because i think i'm rather tired, no.. i correct myself. i AM tired. well put, overwhelmed.

on a lighter note, i'm just glad that el alive audition was over, and my children were obviously happy for their gold medal won for the floorball game in the lower primary games yesterday. i'm happy for them too. (: we had a good lunch at al-ameen (muna&husband, celina, eleanor, michelle, sharon) firdaus were there for a lil while, sharon's last day. it's been great having her around all these while...

if there's one word to describe everything i'm wanting to say, it's lost.

and how so can i breathe through the days without you? :(

2009-08-02T04:50:00.000+08:00

another long long time since i last posted something on my blog...
there's too much happening, too little time for myself and too little quality time to use and too little time to waste, but here i am as i am waiting for facebook to finish uploading my pictures for laoda's 26th birthday, i've decided to take this little bit of time to blog a little bit about what has been going on.

HAPPY 26th BIRTHDAY LAO DA! (01082009)
nice food, nice cakes, nice celebrations. pics to be up later.

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school is tiring, but manageable, i think. life is as normal with some spices of flu and infections here and there. day after day, time passed away...
and yes, and i just can't keep you off my mind.... (:

"because you smittened me with everything, everything that you do."

2009-07-12T03:56:00.000+08:00

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2009-07-02T23:14:00.000+08:00

是谁从我天空摘走了星星
一转眼眉头聚满乌云
从来快乐悲伤都自己判刑
忘了我也值得被关心
一双手一个梦一路上不断的俯冲
痛到忘了要怎么喊痛
漫长的寂寞淹没我的难过
我的世界是零下的沙漠
其实我也想要拥抱的温柔
融化这颗坚强的泡沫
漫长的等候让人特别失落
锋锐寂寞把天空都割破
还有谁能够紧握着我的手
陪着我期待消失的彩虹
是谁将阳光都剪成了雨滴
天灰了，快乐总有限期
从来都陷在孤独的流沙里
忘了我也配被人在意
一个人一直走看着梦像做了又空
精疲力尽有没有哪里可以停泊
漫长的寂寞淹没我的难过
我的世界是零下的沙漠
其实我也想有拥抱的温柔
融化这颗坚强的泡沫
漫长的等候让人特别失落
锋锐寂寞把天空都割破
还有谁能够紧握着我的手
陪着我期待消失的彩虹
那是谁的温柔留在我的小手
微不足道却那么重
漫长的寂寞把意志都吞没
整个世界是沉默的漩涡
有谁能陪我手牵着手出走
带我离开空洞的星球
还有什么值得追求
还有什么可以拥有
把怀抱借给我是不是就不再颤抖
有谁能带走这美丽的哀愁
能让我相信被爱的理由

this song speaks, for me.

2009-06-29T19:46:00.004+08:00

and as you can see, time flies...
it was about a month ago since i last blogged. simply because i was really literally slacking throughout the holidays. i slept, i ate, i slept and i ate. yes, i was a potato couch, now i'm a pig. i grew, and i'm overloaded now. hahaha... how do i shed all those away? beats me.

it was only till the last week of holidays that everything went hectic due to h1n1. there was alot to anticipate and alot to preapre and get done. it wasn't easy but with helping hands and working minds, we worked as a team to get things done, that's was totally fulfilling when we managed to get things prepared on time.

it's been 15weeks since i last joined this line. throughout this duration, i am proud to say that i've been working and learning alot at the same time, all simultaneously, concurrently.it fills my mind and it enriches me.

as i was planning out for the next 10 weeks of term 3, i realised i became someone more organised. i was and still am disorganized, but lesser now, probably. i can't be my own judge though. haha. i get things in place, (missing out things and misplacing some sometimes) well, at least it's really not all the time now. i became more oriented to things and details, i was very much disoriented and i wasnt really someone nitty gritty detaily. hahha. well, if u know what i mean... but now, despite seeing things in big pictures, i began to learn to be meticulous, something that wasnt inborn for sure. now who said talents can't be nurtured?? hahaha... no no, i'm far from being a talent. (: there's more to be nurtured within me.

alot to read... i need to accomplish my reading plans as follows:
- how starbucks saved my life
- the deception point
- the digital fortress
- angels and demons
- eat pray love

yums.

-i'm smittened, yes, by you.

2009-06-03T14:14:00.002+08:00

june holidays hit in. fabulous...
alot of activities going on, fun and lovely. i have a bunch of fun-loving colleagues. fantastic!
dinner at liang court makes me still thinking of the chirashi don. most of all, that satisfying ice-cream still lingers in my mind. yums! hahahha

a day of a hectic teacher in the greenery (sungei buloh) was lovely. i love the nature!!! it was soooo beautiful. i had many pictures taken, to be uploaded later. i had a really good time taking pictures, enjoying the crickets' singing, seeing how the mudskippers dance, and how the plants sway from side to side. breath-taking. that's the kind of life i crave for, away from the buzzing city, off the roads (:

pictures to be up later.
zzz

2009-06-01T23:52:00.001+08:00

why should these complicated people come and create complications and disturb my beautifully peaceful life?
ROARS.

2009-05-30T13:47:00.002+08:00

huiguang kor's and fiona's wedding (:
some random pictures...

more pictures to be up after tonight's dinner.

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if only i had the raved about hour glass figure, or that porcelain features, then i wouldnt be feeling so down? maybe.

2009-05-27T21:54:00.001+08:00

counting down to freedom.
in 2 more days time...
however.... i got to first survive through these 2 hectic days...
wish me luck.

-u smittened me and left me standing dumb-founded with your sweetness.

2009-05-26T23:17:00.002+08:00

there's only one adjective that explains it all now.
supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!!!
and that one verb which tells you all.
ROARS!!!

overwhelming. nerve-wrecking. brain-cracking.

2009-05-26T09:38:00.001+08:00

hmmm... coffee club dinner.
right ambience, right place, BUT..... hmm.
yes, hmm...

2009-05-24T14:13:00.002+08:00

passion run was good. photos later.
watched night at the museum 2, it was hilarious. it may seems rather non-sensical or some people might think it's pretty lame, but i did find it worthwhile to laugh it out loud for a good hour or so. it's totally therapeutic. i like! (:

fantastic!!!

i'm already starting to countdown to week10, which is this very coming week. and then i'd be free! yippieee!
actually, i'm kinda brain dead now.

-joyce ong, if you ever fall you'd be soooo doomed. control!!

2009-05-19T22:45:00.006+08:00

i didn't know mental strain felt like this.
mental block, spacing out, too many things on hands.
good thing i had some unwind-ing times over the weekend. johny, lao da, nan and i went to next door cafe for dinner and chill after watching angels and demons. it was a good movie, it did hold my breath at certain parts.
dinner and chill-ing at next door cafe was good. some pictures to show the good times.

that's all.
if anyone were to sing a lullaby to me now, it would take effect within seconds. yes ,i'm that tired. brain dead if you'd like to call it.

2009-05-15T22:40:00.009+08:00

some photos taken from maleka trip...
backdated but it still brings enjoyable moments...

that's us walking on the streets of Melaka.
they bought a new shades, i had to try it on! lol.

i caught the lovely sunset.

we're practicing the Singaporean spirit of queuing up. but it's the best assam laksa ever!!

this is tasty!!!

food has this effect on me.

what is taking them so long to serve the food??? tsk.

heineken is our favourite. yums.

that's all folks.

i still have many random photos not up yet. i will take my time. haha

weekends are here!!

tmr's plans include movie (angels and demons) at The Cathay, dinner at Arab Street (Next Door Cafe), it's gonna be our first time there as well, shall see if it's a nice place since most forums rate it a 8.5. Alfresco dining it shall be. johny, lao da, nan and me. hmmm, i foresee a cockatoo-crap session up ahead.

nightey nights!

new blogskin

2009-05-15T10:49:00.001+08:00

nice right? (:
thanks zixian.

it's friday, but i'm still restless. what is wrong with me???
i'm looking forward to saturday though.
goodbye! time for school!

the singing mood

2009-05-11T21:34:00.000+08:00

the singing mood kicks in... i feel like singing the night away.
been eating good food these three days..
nan's black pepper crab, assam pedas (hee hee), baked rice, swensen's apple crumble. yums.
calories overload. but food has this super natural powers of making one happy. no? well, it does that to me.
bad habit.

recently i realised i've been very much in a daze.
constantly building castles in the air. the same kind of castles, the same structures, same colours, the same kind of dream. no good.

我在这里　计算终点的距离
下一站　有没有更期待的结局
眼　闭上眼　看不看得见过去
看不看得见　原来那个你　和幸福的关系
路太弯　梦在转　错过的人已不在
以为我　能习惯　一个人的安全感
路太弯　爱在转　明知忘记会很难
我一路上　跌跌撞撞　却找不回拥抱的形状
付出过是不是就换得回希望
呼吸太乱　世界太宽　缘份毕竟太短
我一路上　跌跌撞撞　却找不回拥抱的形状

下一站　有没有更期待的结局?

when the going gets tough...

2009-05-08T21:36:00.001+08:00

THE TOUGH GTES GOING.
when you are left behind, it just makes you stonger.
i don't need anyone.
when the wounds hurt, it actually feels good. it tells me i am not numb.

it hurts doubly pain when the words were unintentuinal.

solitudary

2009-05-06T22:46:00.000+08:00

sometimes it feels frustrating to be in solitude.
or rather, helpless.

hectic?

2009-05-05T22:10:00.000+08:00

more than that. it felt like the brain just got pan fried.
it could be the weird weather. or just another of the moments. whatever it may be, it makes me lethargic, and on top of that, i feel more restless than ever. i don't know where did all my energy flow to. maybe restless is not the best word. listless is.

there seems to be alot on the mind, but it seems empty. anyone experienced this before? it's like you know there are many things running in your mind at the same minute, but at the same time, physically you are just staring out in space, spacing out. not a very good sign...

some things just need to be laid out nicely and properly on the table, and slowly crossed out and eliminated for good. there are just tooooo many unsettled matters left hanging there. guess that drains out brain juices as well. affects one's mood inevitably

things on a lighter note, i'm finding work much happier because i don't think i'm as lonely as i thought i would be (:

-and i thought time and distance wouldn't be the affecting factors. or, we thought.

getaway, got away and back

2009-05-04T22:53:00.000+08:00

the long weekends were good.
the rich heritage tour to Malacca (Melaka) enriched my mind, fed my soul. Though more eating than heritage touring, every part of the place were rich in their culture, rich in history. i like it.
moreover, the company was best of all. (mum, sis, lao da, nan, qin and qin's bf) harmoniously fun. i enjoyed it.
it was a good getaway, i got away, and i'm now back.

back to earth.

work is as per normal, everything as normal? not exactly. a little bit more hectic and busy because we are all now on ORANGE alert. it's scary how things are turning into a pandemic. i did a research on the 1918 influenza which was also a castrophe back then, a true epidemic that wiped out lives like dust were being swept off. let's hope history would not repeat itself. look at how life can be so vulnerable, not knowing which minute, which moment we'd have to be in a pandemic.

these days, i've learnt to be stronger, in a different way. not physically strong but mentally strong. spiritually strong. nothing about religions, but strictly being spritually stronger.

i'm in the midst of finding the peace that could be found within me. something that i've neglected for the past 22 years, maybe? (:

good night monday.

- btw, i LOVE assam pedas! MUAHAHAHA. ezah? (:

replay

2009-04-28T11:12:00.000+08:00

those few songs that keep playing in your mind.
those few scenes that keep flashing in your mind.
hmmm.

there's always a time to say goodbye

2009-04-25T13:35:00.000+08:00

i met a mentor, i met a friend, into the first turning point when i joined this career. yesterday was double loss for me, though i'm still happy for both of them that they are now moving on with things that they truly wanted. we'd still see each other of cos, but then, come monday i'd be somewhat lonely, yet again. back to square one. haha

just want to thank ms.wong, for all her guidance and everything she ever gave. her padagogies will stay with me as an inspiration (:

it's weekends, but how come i've stopped looking forward to weekends? maybe i'm just too restless. i need to find activities to do, seriously.

stay the same - joey mcintyre

2009-04-21T21:56:00.000+08:00

Don't you ever wish you were someone else,
You were meant to be the way you are exactly.
Don't you ever say you don't like the way you are.
When you learn to love yourself, you're better off by far.
And I hope you always stay the same,cuz there's nothin' 'bout you I would change.

I think that you could be whatever you wanted to be
If you could realize, all the dreams you have inside.
Don't be afraid if you've got something to say,
Just open up your heart and let it show you the way.

Don't you ever wish you were someone else,
You were meant to be the way you are exactly.
Don't you ever say you don't like the way you are.
When you learn to love yourself, you're better off by far.
And I hope you always stay the same,cuz there's nothin' 'bout you I would change.

Believe in yourself.
Reach down inside.
The love you find will set you free.
Believe in yourself, you will come alive.
Have faith in what you do.
You'll make it through.

Don't you ever wish you were someone else,
You were meant to be the way you are exactly.
Don't you ever say you don't like the way you are.
When you learn to love yourself, you're better off by far.
And I hope you always stay the same,cuz there's nothin' 'bout you I would change.

-yea,stay the same.

monumental task

2009-04-21T21:36:00.001+08:00

yesterday, it was my first successful attempt to pretend to be really angry. i was fuming pretentiously. and i made the children write a reflection each to repent. ms wong said i made them accomplished a monumental task. indeed. i was reading the reflections, and i was smiling at all of the writings. heart-warming. lovable children.

checked my email and received a reply from the y-camp challenge. yes, i'm going to volunteer for the camp where we would be paired with either physically challenged or intellectually challenged beneficiaries at the 4 days 3 nights camp. guess that shall make life slightly fulfilling for me (: i'm looking forward to it. anyone wanna join me? hee..

tickets to sarawak to jin nan's hometown had been booked, all thanks to lao da and his efficiency. everything settled. like he said, we are now waiting for the day to come. i'm also looking forward to it. welcome june and my happiness. we will be travelling on first weekend of june, and y-camp challenge is on 2nd week of june.
now, what shall i plan for 3rd week of june before i resume duties on the last week? hmm, i'm contemplating to do many many many things. of well, i've only got ONE more week. i should meet many many missed friends (:

apart from looking forward to june. i'm first looking forward to 1st of may. yes, it's labour's day. yes, it's jin nan's birthday. and OH YES, we are going to malacca! we will be setting off on 1st may's morning and be back on 3rd may. yummy. it's gonna be a good eating-shopping-trip. with all the right company. mum+sis+lao da +nan+sweeqin. LOVELYYY.

tomorrow is mid week. tomorrow will be a long hectic day, but it will be over soon. real soon. i'm looking forward to weekends. it's gonna be a fun weekend altogether. film fest. nights out. lovely.

oh wells, if u realised, i'm always looking forward.
i'm most looking forward to december actually. and they know why. (:(:

good night sunday, good morning monday.

2009-04-19T22:28:00.000+08:00

tomorrow is monday.
everything is summarised in this one short line.
yes it is.

good night.

in the midst of the search

2009-04-19T11:12:00.001+08:00

hello all, yes i am back.
away from stress and fatigue and everything else, i'm taking some time off to blog about the past few weeks.

actually, days flew passed without my realization.
period after period, bell after bell and my day would end with a school song followed by the national anhem.
and as the national anthem fades off on it's last notes, my day fades away too. leaving the childrens' 'goodbye' buzzing in my ears, and the bus ride would be short but therapeutic.

past weekends have been therapeutic too. more of self-care and some alone me-time. reflections u call it i supposed? but usually i don do much of that. i just space out and let the brain takes what it needs to rest. and so, come monday the brain would still have juices to spare for my little children. it's a blessing to be able to touch lives and nurture souls. i love all the nitty gritty things the children gave. they are lovable.

sometimes, i'm so detach from so many things else, i'm scared of detaching from the previous world i had. sometimes i think back and wondered why. have i grown out of all my old clothes? but i still want them all. have i got sick of reading the repetitive chapters of a certain book? but i still want to keep the book. and why the sudden use of metaphors? faezah said i'm having fun in the mature way. probably.

lately i've watched shinjuku incident. it reflects life's dark side. the ugly sides of people when they want wealth, fame and status. it made people feel the gross sides of life. but it's so true. well plotted to show the facets of life that comes our way without we realising it. it's scary. i liked the story and i watched twice!

too fast too furious aint too bad also.

now, i think i really miss faezah and yingtao. maybe with them around there should be some craziness portrayed. BUT... right now. i'm too tamed. hahaha (:

goodbye weekends, hello monday

2009-03-29T22:49:00.000+08:00

it's late sunday night now and it's good night all, goodbye weekends and welcome monday.
i havent feel the blues YET. hahaha...
lately, i'm just very looking forward to weekends. it's become a routine.
there is a person i yearn to see every weekend.
there are things i wanna do with my friends every weekend, though simple yet desirable.
it feels empty without these on weekends.

i'm already counting down to saturday again.
but i'll still have a fulfilling week ahead (:

- i will be -

2009-03-29T13:27:00.000+08:00

There's nothing I could say to you
Nothing I could ever do to make you see
What you mean to me
All the pain, the tears I cried
Still you never said goodbye and now I know
How far you'd go

I know I let you down
But it's not like that now
This time I'll never let you go

[Chorus:]
I will be, all that you want
And get myself together
Cause you keep me from falling apart
All my life, I'll be with you forever
To get you through the day
And make everything okay

I thought that I had everything
I didn't know what life could bring
But now I see, honestly
You're the one thing I got right
The only one I let inside
Now I can breathe, cause you're here with me

And if I let you down
I'll turn it all around
Cause I would never let you go

I will be, all that you want
And get myself together
Cause you keep me from falling apart
All my life, I'll be with you forever
To get you through the day
And make everything okay

Without you I can't sleep
I'm not gonna ever, ever let you leave
You're all I've got, you're all I want
Yeah Cause without you I don't know what I'd do
I can never, ever live a day without you
Here, with me, do you see, You're all I need

And I will be, all that you want
And get myself together
Cause you keep me from falling apart
All my life (my life), I'll be with you forever
To get you through the day
And make everything okay

I will be (I'll be), all that you want
And get myself together
Cause you keep me from falling apart
And all my life, you know I'll be with you forever
To get you through the day
And make everything okay

-dedicated to this someone whom i sincerely hope he knows who he is.

a whole new phase of life.

2009-03-29T00:33:00.001+08:00

it's a whole new phase of life for me.
things have changed drastically, dramatically. there are so many things in life that is no longer the same, but i'm glad some things just never change and will never change (: i just want to tell the whole entire world that i'm loving life now, and that i'm appreciative and contented with the things and people i have in my life.

it's been a really long time since i last blogged, it's like i'm reborn now. there are many things in the previous blogs that i will never want to say again, or talk about ever again. as this blog signifies a whole new change, awhole new life, awhole new phase.

life's bright again, with the right people, my family, my bestest friends, my buddies who never left me in the lurch when i needed, with the right job, with everything i've ever asked for in my life. i used to constantly think that i have a missing piece in my life, but somehow, lately, that missing piece remains missing but the feeling is honestly bearable and pleasant (:

for the past 3 months, everything changed for the better or worse, i had certain blessings that stayed with me. all i asked for now, is that things remain the same now, at least for a little more while? and i'm contented. i want to really really thank alot of people who lent me their hands, lent me their shoulders through the painful times, and now it's all over.

now, weekdays are packed with meaningful stuffs, lovely and naughty but adorable children. weekends, though not as colourful and exciting as before, some things remain beautiful. even though alot of my lovely weekends have been altered, i'm simply happy.. sundays are sleep ins that i appreciate and i pamper myself with. sleeping makes everything else negligent (:

there are people i miss soo much.
brain/boo/ezah!!! u are badly missed. hey you over there, u don't know how much i need to have your craziness to keep me sane! hahaha. you go girl.

with loves, good the night.